On Women & Marriage

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Orig posted April 8, 2012

We believe everyone should have a good marriage book or two and we will  add  a few of our own  to our resource page.  As a couple, you should even have  one for the woman, and one for the man, that really  feeds their soul. If you don’t like to read, find a good YouTube video, or  DVD to watch.  But every now and then,  we believe you all should be nurturing your marriage by adding to it a little  pertinent wisdom.

pensive-woman

It’s titled:

The Proper Care And Feeding of Marriage, By Dr Laura Schlessinger.

Dr. Schlessinger  has a really nice radio show. She actually took a poll  in her book from  husbands asking  them for wise advice regarding their wives. Now, now, …women…don’t get offended!

But we thought it was interesting to  know this,  since we believe women often set the tone and the  temperature for the home.

Take heed of the awesome information she received from  these awesome interviews:

What do you, as a man, most admire about  WOMEN in general?

1. Social skills, nurturing nature, compassion, sensitivity, listening skills, focus on relationships and bonding –  (family community).
2. Physical softness, sexy, curvy, beautiful and graceful bodies.
3. They will sacrifice for family, the power of creation of new life, being mothers.

4. Better at details, (multitasking).
5. They take the rough hard edges of this world they bring feelings and emotions and sense of intimacy to us logical guys.
6. They can create a home out of any environment adding and aesthetics, to life, ( color, grace, beauty )  they make a house into a sanctuary… a home, homemaking.

7. The positive effect a good woman can have on her husband and family.
8. In femininity there is gentle power over people.

What do you least admire about women in general?

1. Emotional manipulation, complaining, nagging, controlling through ” hurt “or “anger ” their ability to verbally rip apart your soul  having always to have their way.

2. Moodiness, women initially express anger with slamming doors, pouting, and such, and  it takes time to find out the root of the matter, (bossy or superior) attitude.

3. Gossip for sense of superiority, can’t fight with girlfriends and female relatives.
4. They want to talk everything to death, often without coming to any conclusions without the intent to actually solve anything.
5 . Emotions dominate rationality or truth.
6. Constant demand for validation, take everything too personally, obsessed with looks, (but not for sake of pleasing husbands.)
7. Unable to apologize to a man, stay angry and hold grudges a long time, shrillness & fault-finding.
8. Inability or unwillingness to understand what a man is, man hating tendencies not letting the man in their life be a man too quickly annoyed with the true nature of a man.

( Jennifer ) : Hmmm… thought it was so insightful to see that women  can affect the mood of the entire home and family, and  it’s also interesting to note  care for our bodies and  our sensitivity is highly admired. I also thought it was interesting for women to  be considerate of what it means to be a man.  Some men have  hardships unbeknownst to women, and  in a very different way. For instance, a man who is seeking to find a job, but having no luck  really needs more  affirmation about what he is doing right than wrong, and  it means  a lot for a  woman to be understanding that he is working towards the goal, and affirming him, despite the outcome.  In a society where there is strong  social pressure on men to achieve, it’s pertinent women be emotionally supportive.

(Tim comment ) :  The comments   mentioned above that tend  to be  less attractive to men about women,  are  actually  the character  traits of women who have  unresolved emotional hurt and often the emotional hurt they have experienced has come at the hands of men. For example, women who have difficulty, saying I am sorry, to a man ultimately don’t want to feel vulnerable to men because  typically they have   done so in the past, and have been hurt.

Questions and  answers taken from  the Book: Dr Laura Schlessinger The Proper Care And Feeding of Marriage.

Tim and Jennifer  and are certified therapists in Tulsa OK.  They both are in a committed monogamous relationship and  work hard at marriage. They love coaching couples on healthy relationships and communication. If you are interested in couples coaching, please contact us at tim.owensgroup@gmail.com . Although we live in the Tulsa area, we can coach via Skype. we have clients currently in Florida,Texas, Georgia and the Tulsa area.   

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Almost 60 years… and Counting…

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Going on 59 years of Marriage, Leroy and Tee Cox  have learned SO MUCH about marriage!!

The Owens Group takes personal pride in learning from our elders and decide to share on our blog here the type of encouragement that comes from couples  working as teams. Jennifer’s parents visited us one summer in Tulsa Oklahoma, and we decided to interview them after having so much success in marriage.

Listen below as we learn from Jennifer’s parents what they were encouraged by in marriage!

If you enjoyed this video, listen in to part one!

The Coxes live in Rochester, NY and they have four children and approximately 22 grands and  approximately 18 great-grandchildren. They are such an awesome couple that love to travel and take great excitement in life!

On Men & Marriage.

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Orig. Posted on April 8, 2013

 As a couple, you should even have good resources to nurture obtaining knowledge in  your marriage. At least one GOOD BOOK  for the woman, and at least one GOOD BOOK  for the man; and perhaps even a few of them together, you really like. And… that really  feeds your soul and acts as good reference for your souls. If you don’t like to read, find a good YouTube video, or  DVD to watch.  But every now and then,  we believe you all should be nurturing your marriage by adding to it a little  pertinent wisdom.We believe everyone should have a good marriage book or two and we will  add  a few of our own  to our Book Reading Resource page. Currently we are reading:“His Need, Her Needs: Building An Affair Proof  Marriage.” By  William Harley. And we shall talk about that later. We have a really good marriage  manual in our  library that was given to us by Jennifer’s boss  for our wedding day. It’s titled:

Dr. Schlessinger  has a really nice radio show. She actually took a poll  in her book from  husbands asking  them for wise advice regarding their wives.

What do you, as a woman admire about men in general?

1. Hardiness, physical strength, masculinity, mental toughness protective courage , self-confident, persevering, emotional strength when facing fear.

2. Ability to see the whole picture objectively , think logically, get things done, practicality .

3. Honest, straight to the point, back bone, strength of character and opinion, uncomplicated.

4. They get over things fast can be friends with other men who have hurt their feelings, bond easily don’t make everything a crisis upfront with anger don’t over analyze everything.

5. Provider for family, responsible , driven to fix and help, leadership and devotion.

6. Chivalry, gentlemanly behavior, willingness to slay dragons everyday, they will sacrifice everything to make their woman happy,

7. They are put together nicely, and their passion in sex, they are comfortable with their bodies.

8. Their simplicity.

(Jennifer):   Wow… really!!? I know… of course this may be the ideal man, and every man is not this way, but he should be at least striving for a few of these. So what do do you think brothers?   It looks like physique is also important to the women as well, and we  as women need your integrity  help in leading and maturity to be  on the forefront.  As  woman, I know I feel more supported when I am  in decision-making mode with a man and he takes equal responsibility and  take time to give his input.

Okay, here’s the other side,  men.. women didn’t like  these factors: What do you need at least admire about  men in general?

1. Hard for them to give- and- take  in discussion they want to give the answer, not figure it out together.

2. Then they can have casual sex; obsession with women’s bodies/ sex; shallow physical attraction to women.

3. Hide male ego, not good with criticism, won’t admit weaknesses, arrogance, emotional neediness.

4. Too easily intimidated by strong-willed women and or their mothers.

5 Don’t wish to do domestic work expect women to do child rearing.

6. Workaholics can’t multitask; focus on bigger pictures and not on details.

7. Crude humor and admiration of violent (sports,  movies); sloppy.

8. Won’t talk about feelings won’t show many feelings besides anger, not sensitive to feelings of women, won’t  easily vocalize love and appreciation.

( Tim) :  Tim says women (and sadly most men) don’t fully understand that what seems to be male obsession with sexuality and women’s bodies is really less about obsession with the female  form and more about men trying to manage the abundance of testosterone surging through their bodies.  In the same way that women  have  to manage their monthly reproductive cycle (their  periods) ; men have to manage their male reproductive cycle driven by the production of testosterone.

Tim and Jennifer  and are certified therapists in Tulsa OK.  and they both are in a committed monogamous relationship and  word hard at marriage. They love coaching couples on healthy relationships and communication. If you are interested in couples coaching, please contact us at tim.owensgroup@gmail.com . Although we live in the Tulsa area, we can coach via Skype. we have clients currently in Florida,Texas, Georgia and the Tulsa area.   

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